They Might be Trollocs - Rand

They Might be Trollocs - Rand


Theme From Rand

Why is the world breaking again?
Why can we feel the Dark One's hand?
Why are the ocean levels rising up?
It's Tarmon Gaidon, the age is ending
The Wheel has spun out a brand new Dragon: RAND!

by Keith E Casner


Put A Little Balefire In Your Soul

I'm your only friend, I'm not your only friend ,
but I'm a little glowing friend,
but really I'm not actually your friend, but I am...

Blue Aes Sedai in the Tower, By the Light, Witch!
Who watches over You?
Put a little Balefire in your soul.

Not to put to fine a taint on it,
Saidin and the void won't cut it,
Put a little Balefire in your soul.

I have a secret to tell
You thought you knew Verin well,
Its a simple message but I'm saying it with prophecy
So the room must listen to me,
Instruct individually,
My Name is Ba'alzamon, eternal foe of L-T-T

The Wheel is Infinite, I'll always Win Again,
It doesn't rest,
Blue Aes Sedai in the Tower, By the Light, Witch!
Who watches over You?
Put a little Balefire in your soul.

Not to put to fine a taint on it,
Saidin and the void won't cut it,
Put a little Balefire in your soul.

I'm your only friend, I'm not your only friend ,
but I'm a little glowing friend,
but really I'm not actually your friend, but I am...

There's a picture opposite me, of your distant ancestry,
Who stood at Shayol Ghul and sealed the Great Lord indefinitely,
While that vexed me a lot, I still succeeded in doing my job,
Of killing the Dragon and his Hundred Companions off (weak)

Darkfriends and Madness, like Machin Shin, its always near,
Blue Aes Sedai in the Tower, By the Light, Witch!
Who watches over You?
Put a little Balefire in your soul.

Not to put to fine a taint on it,
Saidin and the void won't cut it,
Put a little Balefire in your soul.

And While You're at it,
Keep an angreal on the balefire in your soul....

by John Palmer


Lucky Sa'angreal

I lost my lucky sa'angreal, now it's three millenia gone.
A hundred foot tall statue, lets incredible power be drawn.
Even though the world was breaking, I shouldn't have let it go
I bet it could kill Sh**'t*n, but now we'll never know.

Ba'alzamon! I bet you'd like to have this thing!
Ba'alzamon! With it you'd rule the world!

You'd overthrow the Dark One
and take his place
Too bad Lanfear will probably do it first!

You think you rule Tel'aran'rhiod, but let me set you right
Lanfear just stands there mocking you
"You are a fool!"
Says the Daughter of the Night

by Keith E Casner


Fal Dara (not Mafal Dadaranell)

Fal Dara was Mafal Dadaranell,
Now its Fal Dara, not Mafal Dadaranell,
Been a long time gone Mafal Dadaranell,
Now its Border delight on a moonlit night.

Every gal in Mafal Dadaranell
lives in Fal Dara not Mafal Dadaranell
So if you've a date in Mafal Dadaranell,
She'll be waiting in Fal Dara.

Even Cairhien
Was once al'Cair'rahienallen,
Why they changed it I can't say.
People just liked it better that way!

So take me back to Mafal Dadaranell,
No you can't go back to Mafal Dadaranell,
Been a long time gone, Mafal Dadaranell.
Why did Mafal Dadaranell get the works?

That's nobody's business but the Lurks'

(Fal Dara)

by John S. Novak, III


Two Rivers Man

Two Rivers man, Two Rivers man
Rand al'Thor is a Two Rivers man
So what if he's tall and has red hair?
Not an Aielman!
Two Rivers man

Ishmael man, Ishmael man
Likes to pretend that he is Sh**'t*n
Gets in your dreams, screws with your head
Flame-faced man
Ishmael man

Two Rivers man, Two Rivers man
Two Rivers man hates Ishmael man
They have a fight, Two Rivers wins
Channeling man
Two Rivers man

Dragon man, Dragon man
Reborn Lews Therin Tela-man
Maybe the taint will drive him insane
World-breaking man
Dragon man

Rahvin man, Rahvin man
Has Queen Morgase in the palm of his hand
Uses saidin to get lots of chicks
Promiscuous man
Rahvin man

Dragon man, Dragon man
Dragon man hates Rahvin man
They have a fight, Dragon wins
Balefire man
Dragon man

by Keith E Casner


Ballad of the Three Ta'veren (to Letterbox)

[Rand]
I'll never know what will happen when I try to channel
try to use the One Power
Cause Moiraine never tells me anything I wanna know, she's Aes Sedai
From the Tower
And I'll never know what she does or doesn't know
when she stares at me when I ask but I won't cower

[Perrin]
If I had a pair of yellow eyes like a wolf in my head
for each time
Moiraine refused to tell me all about all the things she knew about
what she knew about the Wheel of Time
I would have a lot of yellow eyes like the wolves in my head
wouldn't I wouldn't that just be fine?

[Mat]
Burn me, I'm a ta'veren I don't wanna be a ta'veren
it's how I was born
Moiraine tells me all about all the things that I'll have to do
all about the Horn
But I didn't wanna blow the Horn I just wanna have a little fun
I'm no hero reborn

by Keith E Casner


Channeling in the Dark

A woman came up to me, and said, "I'd like to poison your mind
With subtle lies composed of truths, though I am not unkind."
She looked at me, I looked at something written across her scalp
And this is what it faintly said as I tried to call for help:

"There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well
And that's be you, be what you're like, be like yourself."

And so I'm having a wonderful time
But I'd rather be channeling in the dark.
There's only one thing that I like
And that is channeling in the dark.

A man came up to me and said, "I'd like to change your mind
With a hideous Taint that destroys your mind, though I am not unkind."
We laughed at his little joke and then I merrily walked away
And hit my head on the wall of Prison the two of us share today.

by John S. Novak, III


Moiraine (to Hot Cha)

Moir-aine, where are you?
Rasfwrj [pronounced ra-sef-widger] wants to know.
Are you dead, can it be so?
So Moir-aine, where are you?

First time Moiraine went away,
Did she go to Shayol Ghul?
Was she at the Darkfriend Social?
Or just making Rand her tool?

Second time she went away,
Went right through the redstone gate.
Took Lanfear along with her.
Did the *lfinn decide her fate?
If Thom goes and fetches her,
All the newbies would be happy.
But John Novak would no like it:
"RJ's getting kind of crappy."

Moir-aine, where are you?
Rasfwrj wants to know.
Are you dead, can it be so?
So Moir-aine, where are you?

by Keith E Casner


Women Are Mad (to Women & Men)

When a *sniff* comes from a woman
It means she's a bit put out
You've said or done the wrong thing there's no doubt
Now if you try to argue
You will end up in a rout
Whether you try to reason or you shout

But when she calls you a woolhead,
or a light-blinded halfwit,
says you think with your chest hair,
then you just have to say:

Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!
Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!

Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!
Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!

[Women are mad...]

If you're Rand, you wish you could be more
like Mat and Perrin who, seem secure

[Women are mad...]

Around women, but how could you know
that they wish they were more like you!

Women are mad and inconsistent
There's no telling what they think
They'll change their moods in just a blink

Siuan stares so you can't face her
Bain and Chiad play Maiden's Kiss
(When very vexed Moiraine's been known to hiss)

Elayne shows a haughty bearing
Nynaeve tugs her braid, and
Min fumes with frustration,
Egwene just lets it all out.

Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!
Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!

Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!
Women are ma-aa-aa-aa-a-a-a-a-d!

by Keith E Casner


They Might Be Trollocs

[Come on, come on, Fight!]

They might be trollocs
They might be trollocs
They might be part wolf, they might be part goat
They might be trying to storm Bayle's boat

They might be trollocs
They might be trollocs
They might be smelly, they might be cruel
They might look like Ogier to an ignorant fool.

[when trollocs come down from the Blight,
the Borderlanders have to be great fighters,
just to keep from being thrown into cookpots ]

Myrddraal footprints in the woods,
Myrddraal footprints mean no good
They'll rip off your bollocks,
Cause they might be trollocs
And what are we gonna do if there's a Fade?

They might be trollocs, (Smash!)
They might be trollocs,
They might be evil, they might be warped
The only good trolloc is a trolloc corpse

[Come on, fight!]

They might be trollocs, (Crunch!)
They might be trollocs,
They might be Ko'bol, they might be Dhai'mon
They might like to eat human flesh well-done

Myrddraal footprints in the woods,
Myrddraal footprints mean no good
They'll rip off your bollocks,
Cause they might be trollocs
And what are we gonna do if there's a Fade?

They might be trollocs (Gnash!)
They might be trollocs (Snap!
They might be trollocs (Clang!) etc.

by Keith E Casner


Road Movie to Caemlyn

We're in a road movie to Caemlyn
And the Trollocs are closing in
And we lost Thom in Whitebridge, to a Fade

We were once home in Two Rivers
Tales of Fades gave us the shivers
On Winternight, all our worst dreams came true

{this next stanza is the "skeleton bones" part}
Shadar Logoth was the worst
Mat picked up a dagger that's cursed
And we lost Egwene and Perrin in the battle

We're in a road movie to Caemlyn
And the Trollocs are closing in
And we just don't know if we can trust Moiraine...

by Keith E Casner